Gabriel's medical bills
Desiree:
Good morning. I just received a bill from Little Company of Mary Hospital for $722 for the visit to the emergency room on March 8, 2012. I called the hospital to inquire, because the copayment was only supposed to be $275. They informed me that there was also a $500 deductible. So the remaining balance comes to $722. (Even though 500 + 275 is 775).
In your email, dated 3/29/12 at 15:57, you stated:
As far as the medical bill for our son ... I will not send you any money at all. I will pay half of the bill. That half will go to either the hopsital [sic] or to the person actually shelling out he [sic] money for the other half. This can be presented in the form of an actual bill from the hospital or a receipt from the person who paid.
According to the hospital they have not received any payments from you. The balance is now past due. I will send you a copy of the bill for your records.
I hereby again, formally, request you submit payment for half of the cost of Gabriel's visit to the emergency room. I don't care if you send it to me or to the hospital.
As always, I shall accept a failure to provide a clear, affirmative response as being a denial of my requests.
Morgan/Fox or whatever your name is...have you ever heard of urgent care? The child had a fever - he was better 2 days later. Urgent care is $50. That's it. Please use discretion when determining where to take him as you are responsible for the other half of the bill. I'm sure you don't have $361any more than I do for a needless emergency room visit. Did you provide the hospital with a SSN during the visit so that if your half of the balance goes into default and they have to report it to a creditor or sell it to a collections agency I am able to separate the portion I pay?
Desiree:
Please note: you did not actually state whether or not you intend to contribute to Gabriel's medical expense. The only response I am seeking is regarding that. All I want is a yes or a no, and possibly an indication as to when you intend to submit the payment.
I've never heard of "urgent care". The only insurance provider I have ever dealt with has been Blue Cross and they never imposed a copayment or deductible on mine or Gabriel's (or your) emergency room visits. For that matter, Blue Cross didn't even bill me for your helicopter ride, or for the three months Gabriel was in the hospital after his birth, of for any of the many times I took Gabriel to Little Company of Mary in the past.
As for using discretion - I believe I did. He had been ill, running a fever, and vomiting for at least two days. When I took him to the hospital he was already on a hefty dose of Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen and his temperature was at 103.8 and climbing. I chose not to wait until his temperature became dangerous before driving him to the hospital because I needed to factor in the time it would take to drive him there and to wait to see a doctor. If you would like to take those kinds of risks with Sage that's your business, but I certainly hope that while Gabriel is in Phoenix you won't cut it so close when dealing with an unknown, and therefore potentially dangerous, medical condition. Further, he was not better two days later, as you say. It took another four days before he was back to reasonably normal conditions. In total, he missed a week of school. Please do not downplay the potential seriousness of the situation just because it happened while I was in charge. And I think it is irresponsible and frivolous to say the hospital visit was needless. What if I hadn't taken him and it turned out to be pneumonia or some such thing? What if it was a viral infection that his immune system was unable to fight off? Should I have waited until he started coughing up blood? Would you wait that long?
The bill is in my name only. Your name never came up, and I can't imagine why it would. If the bill does not get paid in full and any amount goes to collections it will affect me only. If I pay/paid the entire bill and you send them your half they will send me a refund for the amount of the overpayment. Whether or not I have paid part, or all, of the bill is of no relevance to you.
What social security number, if any, I provided the hospital is not relevant. I did not use your social security number and therefore it doesn't concern you.
That's funny Fox...of course they didn't bill you, you never gave them a social and your address changed. They put the $64,000 bill on my credit, including the helicopter ride.
Since you have stupidly put us in this steep financial burden, what I am requiring from you is more information about the facts of the situation before I inform you of my plan. I see your word games as a way of stalling on answering me.
I will take any response, other than simple and direct answers to my previous questions, as affirmation that you have no intention of providing any financial support for Gabriel, now or in the future and will instead rely on others to provide for his care and well being.
Urgent care is located nation wide and they are after-hours walkin clinics. I would think someone so adept at research would have been able to find one in your area.
Please see my responses, inline, below:
Why is this the first I have heard of it? I have continued to have Blue Cross up until the time of my detention and they never mentioned it to me. Do you have any proof of your claim? Because, honestly, it sounds like more of the usual from you - making untrue, unfounded claims when you're upset, to try to save face or turn the debate around. But I always attempt to verify every claim you make and I've found that most of your claims turn out to be false. So, if you have some proof then please furnish it, otherwise, I'll assume this is just more nonsense.
I did not change my address. After Gabriel's birth we continued to reside at the address on 19th Ave until March 2001. I'm sorry, but I can find no record to support your claim that they did seek to obtain funds from either of us. Also, why did you not bring it to my attention in 2000 or 2001?
I don't see how you can possibly say that I put you in your current financial position. YOU started legal proceedings when you brought Gabriel to Phoenix and attempted to obtain custody. I was responding to your actions, not vice versa. When I filed the new case here it was, again, in response to the proceedings you initiated in Arizona. Had you not taken the steps you did in August then none of these legal proceedings would have been necessary. So how can you say that I put you in this position?
Also, I'm sure that your marijuana case has put a nice dent in your finances. Did I have something to do with that as well? And did I make you move into a bigger house just before you had to return Gabriel? Did I make you spend money on whatever it is you're spending all your money on? I just don't see how any reasonable person can say that your financial problems are in any way my fault. Please enlighten me. If you can tell me how my unjustified actions have resulted in you spending a single penny I'll eat my words.
And I dispute what you say about trying to get information about the facts. I will provide you any information you require. The only thing I recall you stating definitively is that you will not send me ANY money. But that's fine, I have told you you can send the money directly to the hospital. That is what you said you would do, yet it's been two months and you've not.
And I don't know what word games you're talking about. I try to be as clear as possible. If I am being opaque please let me know and I'll try to reword my statements or clarify my meaning.
I do not get your meaning or intention here. The placement of the comma between "response" and "other than" means that you will "take any response...as affirmation...", except in the case that the response is "other than simple and direct...". May you please rewrite that statement for clarity?
A walk-in clinic? Isn't that where poor people and crackheads go? I'm not being funny or sarcastic, I've really never heard of "urgent care". I just Googled the phrase. Okay. I see. But isn't the point of having either money or insurance (or preferably both) so that one doesn't have to go to walk-in clinics?
Anyway, when Gabriel's running a fever and vomiting I'm not inclined to spend an indefinite amount of time on the Internet researching such things. I was under significant time constraints because in less than an hour his temperature went from 102.5 to 103.8 and he had already taken a dose of medication and hour earlier.
Now, listen, I need to get some code changes done before tomorrow and don't have time for these back and forths. Just pay your part of the bill or don't. I'm not going to hound you for it. Have I brought up Gabriel's need for shoes again? Or have I kept bothering you about the cost of his food, shelter, clothing, et cetera? I just submit the request and you're failure to respond is taken as a denial. In September you can explain to the judge why you felt that you were not responsible for these things and why you were more than happy to make Gabriel suffer because you had an unfounded belief that I would use his money for myself.
Okay. That's it, right? This conversation is complete now, right? I can get back to work?
Fox
It occurs to me...regarding your first paragraph, [above], there are two more problems with it. First, the insurance was on my name. You were a beneficiary but it was my, and only my, policy. At the time of Gabriel's birth we were covered under the group plan I had from Fetch Technologies. That being the case why would the insurance company try to obtain the funds from you? Second, I would have provided the same social I provided to my employer (i.e. my social), through whom I had the coverage.
Desiree:
Believe it or not, I do actually make a concerted effort to try to see things from your perspective - even when you say things that strike me as being completely ludicrous. I spend a significant amount of time defending your actions and, what I believe are your view points, to other people who often only hear one side of everything that has been going on.
That being said, there are two issues that I just can't seem to comprehend and I respectfully request that you help me to understand how you came to those beliefs. Before you read on I want to make it clear that there are no allegations in the following text. What follows are only my perceptions, to clarify why I have the beliefs and opinions I do. So there is no reason or need to get angry or defensive or confrontational about anything. If you believe something stated [above] is insulting or accusatory then just ask me to explain myself because, perhaps, I just didn't phrase it well.
The first is your belief that I am responsible, in any way, for your current financial difficulties. The way I see it - and this is just my own evaluation of the situation, based on the information available to me - is that you brought Gabriel to Arizona, then commenced custody and divorce proceedings there. The pleadings I filed in Arizona and the proceedings I commenced here in LA were in response to your initiation of proceedings in Arizona. Since I was responding to your actions I don't see how you can say that your legal expenses are my fault. As far as obtaining the determination that California had jurisdiction and having the case proceed here: that is the law. California was, and is, Gabriel's home state and California has jurisdiction based on that. Your attorney was in the wrong by attempting to move the case to Arizona. If anything, I think you should be upset with your attorney for misleading you and not properly informing you of the issues at hand.
Then, on the matter of your criminal case: I don't see how you can say that I have anything to do with any of those legal expenses. Am I wrong? Do you see it differently? What's more confusing is that you hired the same attorney that screwed you over on the custody proceeding to handle your criminal matter.
My petition for child support? The way I see it parents have responsibilities to their children. Part of those responsibilities are financial support. In ten years you've never provided any support - financial or otherwise. Since you've been in contact with Gabriel you still have not offered to help with anything. Although, you are perfectly aware of my current financial situation. And while I'm struggling to provide for Gabriel, on my own, you're buying him gifts and taking vacations. That's how I see it. Again, am I wrong? I've never asked you for anything for the entire time you were absent. Then suddenly, you show up and start talking about taking Gabriel to Phoenix, whether he wants to go or not, and regardless of what I think about it...and talking about your rights as his mother. But how can you try to claim you have rights as a parent without accepting the responsibilities of a parent? Again, that's just how I see it. I'm not making accusations. I'm just explaining my perspective of things with the hope that you will also try, civilly, to explain your perspective of things. Gabriel is still wearing a pair of shoes that are coming apart. I was able to Crazy Glue the sole to the side of the shoe and it's holding for now but I don't understand how, on the one hand, you can refuse to help out with the cost of a pair of shoes and, on the other hand, you're buying video games, paying for cable (I'm assuming), and living in a house that is bigger and more expensive than you need.
Since you are now representing yourself you really can't say that any family law matters arising since February have affected your finances.
Second, why do you believe that I am a compulsive liar? I mean, I suspect I know why, but I don't like to speculate. I don't believe that I've been deceitful or dishonest in my dealings with you. It seems that I've kept my word on all matters that I said I would. When I found out about your arrest I contacted you first, to inquire whether there was a reasonable explanation. I told you that I would not bring it up in the proceedings if there was a reasonable explanation. But rather than just being honest with me about it you lied about having a medical marijuana card and about the circumstances of the arrest (you claimed the officer searched you in violation of the 4th Amendment). I later found out that you didn't have the card at the time of the arrest and that Kristopher permitted the police to enter and search the residence (so, no 4th Amendment violation occurred). That is why I am seeking to modify the visitation. Because, in my opinion, I gave you a fair opportunity to explain the situation but you just lied about it. You also claimed that you kept the drugs locked up where the children cannot access them but, according to the police report, they were in the vanity by the bathroom. I believe that I have many reasons to not trust you and to think that you are lying about pretty much everything, but I cannot understand your basis for claiming that I cannot be trusted and that I am lying about anything. Can you cite some specific lies I have told you or times I have been deceitful or dishonest with you? I really, sincerely, would like to know why you believe I cannot be trusted.
So, we'll start with that. There are many other beliefs and opinions you have expressed that I cannot comprehend but we'll deal with those if you have any interest in doing so. I hope that you realize and accept that this is a sincere attempt, on my part, to try to be amicable and understanding. It annoys me that many of our conversations have to end up in arguments because it's a very unproductive use of our time. Rather than misinterpreting what the other party is saying and getting angry about it it would seem more beneficial to ask the party to explain what they mean or what they're implying. I suspect that you sometimes take my literal statements as being adversarial because of the way that I phrase them but that is rarely my intent. I phrase things the way I do so there is no misunderstanding or room for misinterpretation. To do that I must be very direct. Rather than assuming I am trying to insult you why don't you ask me to clarify my meaning - don't just assume I'm accusing you of something. If I was meaning to accuse you I would just come out and accuse you.
Anyway, your explanations of the above inquiries would be appreciated so that, maybe, I can better understand where you're coming from.
Fox
Oh, and I should follow up on this one...
I did, eventually, hear back from Blue Cross about your claim that they billed you $64,000. No, they didn't. They didn't bill you for a single penny related to your pregnancy or Gabriel's birth.
But, again, can you tell me how you conclude (as you do [above]) that I am in any way responsible for your financial situation? You've made that assertion a number of times (including in Kristopher's response to the restraining order request) and I've asked you to explain it numerous times, but you never have.
Fox