The motivation for your behavior

Desiree:

The only reason you're being such a stupid cunt right now (well, always 
really) is because you know that Gabriel would rather be with me than 
with you.  It burns you that after 2 and a half years he has not bonded 
with you and that he still speaks highly of me.  You're jealous - but 
not because you want to be a good parent - but because your head is 
filled with silly fairy tales about "perfect families" and "the inherit 
love between a mother and a child".  You grew up watching Disney movies 
and you still believe that's life.

You're pissed off because you know that I deliberately withdrew from the 
family court proceedings because I wanted Gabriel to see what you're 
like when you don't have a court order compelling you to be cooperative, 
and you know that I was right in doing so.  You see that Gabriel has not 
bonded with you and you know that given the choice he would leave you in 
a heartbeat.  You know that you've failed as a parent because you've not 
done a single thing to improve the quality of his life.  You see the 
differences between Gabriel and Sage and you know that you and Michael 
fucked up with Sage.  You know that you will never be a good parent 
because you lack values and decency.  You are incapable of teaching your 
children because you are ashamed of the mistakes you've made and rather 
than admitting them and sharing your experiences with your children so 
that they don't make the same mistakes, you pretend they never happened 
- ensuring that your child absolutely will make the same mistakes.  It's 
the same way your mother raised you and look: you're making the same 
mistakes she did.

It kills you that I am so open with Gabriel that I will share with him 
the worst things that have happened in my life, and that I will accept 
full responsibility for many of them.  That I can admit to my mistakes 
so that he can benefit from them.

Furthermore, it angers you that you keep doing things and they keep 
backfiring on you.  It drives you crazy that I can be so indifferent to 
you.  That you mean so little to me as a human being that if you were 
starving in the street I would not give you the time of day, while at 
the same time I volunteer on a regular basis at a homeless shelter.  So 
it's not that I lack compassion - I just sincerely believe that gross, 
nasty, white trash people like you; people that are so self absorbed; 
people that will ruin another person's life with false accusations just 
to save themselves a little humiliation, without giving it a second 
thought; are the lowest of people and that the world would not miss 
them, nee, in fact, the world would be a better place without them.  
People like you contribute nothing to the world or to society - you just 
suck the life and the goodness out of all the people that try to be nice 
and to be helpful.  You think that if you smile and inflect your 
statements so they sound sweet that everything will be okay.  But it 
won't.  You're just a terrible, sick person.

But you're a product of the environment you grew up in.  You're just 
carrying on the traditions you learned from your equally sick mother.  
It's just who you are.  It's all you know.

And THAT is why you act like such a deranged bitch toward me.  I know 
it, and so, your actions mean very little to me.

Good day,
Fox