Gabriel's school supplies
Desiree:
I received, in the mail, yesterday a letter from Dodson which included a list of the supplies Gabriel will require upon the start of school in August. I have copied the list below. I am writing to inquire whether you intend to pay any portion of those costs. I will forward you a copy of the receipts once I acquire the items (that is, if you actually intend to contribute). Specifically, I am requesting you contribute at least half of the cost (since your income is actually greater than mine).
- Backpack. Please do not use a tote bag, it will not be large enough.
- General Binder for classroom organization.
- Class dividers labeled for English, Math, History, Science, Elective and PE.
- Plastic 2-pocket 3-prong pocket portfolio.
- Pocket dividers with sleeves.
- Pencil pouch to keep the following items:
- 4 sharpened pencils on a daily basis. We do not advise mechanical pencils.
- Blue or black ink pens. Please do not use any other color for your homework assignments. You may use other colors for your personal correspondence.
- Red pen for correcting.
- Highlighters (2 maximum).
- Erasers.
- Colored pencils.
- 3-hole punch, college ruled lined paper. Please do not use perforated or spiral bound papers.
- Small pencil sharpener with cap.
- Three-ring binder 3-paper hole puncher.
- A dictionary.
- A thesaurus that includes synonyms and antonyms.
Please advise me on how you intend to proceed.
We'll get his supplies.
I'll tell you what - your record of either forgetting, or not following through on what you say you're going to does not exactly inspire confidence (case in point: you have still not paid your share of the medical bill, nor did you contribute to his shoes when he needed them, yet you have money for a pool, a trampoline and another pet). I don't want to find out at the last minute (when it's too late to order the things and the supplies in the stores are dwindling) that you didn't get around to it. I will purchase the items and I will send you a copy of the receipts.
Fox, I will take him to the store to pick out the backpack and get everything. You bever told me what shoes he wanted or how much they were and the medical bill is on me, do don't worry about it. Everything you've asked me to send I've done. If you get all the items he will have duplicate as I will get his school supplies. And I have no intention of sending you a bill for any of it - school supplies are a given for things my kids need.
Again, I shall address each point in turn so there is no misunderstanding or miscommunication.
I told you his shoes were coming apart and asked if you would contribute to half the cost. You told me to take him to a store and let him pick out a pair then send you the information and the store where we found them. From there you would purchase them. I explained that that would be completely impractical because it would take unnecessary time and there would be too much room for error (wrong size, color, etc). You never responded further. After waiting a week or so Liz took him to the store and got him a pair of shoes. Please tell m how you consider this "Everything you've asked me to send I've done".
You're mistaken. The bill is in my name, not yours. It will not affect you in any way if it doesn't get paid. It will affect me and Gabriel. The next time I have to take Gabriel to Little Company it will show that there is an outstanding balance. So, yes, I will worry about it. Again, please explain how this is "Everything you've asked me to send I've done".
Will it be better to have duplicates or to be without certain things he needs when school starts? I'll lean on the side of caution and assume you will not follow through. Otherwise, there is too much chance Gabriel will not be prepared.
You wouldn't have to. I would automatically accept my responsibility and cover my part of it. As an honorable and responsible parent I would not wait for someone to ask. When I see that Gabriel needs something I just take care of it. That is what responsible parents do. When I received my paycheck last week I took a few dollars out for expenses then I gave the rest to Liz because she has been providing for Gabriel all this time. She didn't have to ask me for it. You see the difference.
So are shoes, and food, and clothes, and medical expenses, et cetera. Did you know that Liz's parents bought Gabriel the outfit he wore for his culmination ceremony? Did you contribute to that? Did you even offer? Did it even cross your mind? Personally, I don't think so. And I have to say, you certainly have some audacity making such a statement. I have numerous emails from you stating that you are not required to provide for Gabriel when he is not in your physical care. I also have numerous emails where I directly and explicitly requested financial assistance for Gabriel's needs and you said two things consistently: 1) the court has not ordered you to pay anything, and 2) you will not give me any money (even though it is Gabriel that suffers as a result). And now you have the nerve to suggest that school supplies are a given so of course you'll provide them? You're a real piece of work.
And one more question: how is it that you have $50 for a concert ticket for a performer that Gabriel doesn't even care for anymore, yet you don't have money for his necessities?
You just cannot help being critical, derogatory, or insulting can you?
I don't believe that I'm being critical, derogatory, or insulting. Am I not only stating things that are indisputable facts? You clearly have some amount of disposable capital because you are acquiring non-essential items (pools, trampolines, pets). However, you are not applying any of that disposable capital to your financial obligations as they relate to Gabriel's care and needs on an ongoing basis. Is that not true? Your boyfriend sleeps until past noon and is otherwise home most of the time so I can only assume he is not gainfully employed. Therefore, the natural inference is that you are supporting him. Money that could be used on Gabriel is being spent on your boyfriend. Is THAT not true? You purchased at least two tickets (for $100?) to a concert under the auspices of a birthday present for Gabriel. What about that? Is that not true? You made a big deal about changing Gabriel's flight because you said the ticket would cost so much more - yet when I checked on Southwest's site the price difference was about $50. You consider $50 so much more?
Listen, if you're going to play the poor, innocent victim and always accuse me of being insulting and mean then you should, at least, state just how it is that I'm being mean or insulting. Please clarify what I said that was critical, derogatory, or insulting and which was not, in fact, the truth (because if a statement is the truth then it being critical, derogatory or insulting is inconsequential). Everybody who is relevant has by now come to realize that this is just what you do when you know that you're in the wrong. Rather than admitting it or letting it go you try to put blame on, or discredit the other party. Like, as if that will somehow draw the negative attention away from you. That's an old, childish tactic that only works once or twice, and only on naive people.
So, please tell me what I said that was critical, derogatory, or insulting. And if you are correct I will gladly apologize.
Oh, here. Here's me not being critical, derogatory or insulting:
Good job on not using marijuana while being in TASC. I'm sure it hasn't been easy but if you really are abstaining then props to you. And if you are able to continue beyond the completion of your TASC requirement then that will be quite an accomplishment. That's not sarcasm. I really mean it.
Thank you for fixing the XBox networking issue so Gabriel can use his XBox Live account while he's there. Thank you for being overly emotional and melodramatic, thereby making Gabriel uncomfortable talking to you so that he comes to me with his issues.
If you can think of anything else that I can or should congratulate you on then let me know. I will certainly give credit where it is due.
If it's such a problem for you and Liz to take care of Gabriel, send him to me I will take care of everything. You will never have to pay another cent.
I just went through my extensive collection of emails you've sent me and I couldn't find the one where you td me how much Gabriel's shoes were. Can you please send that to me again?
Funny, it seems I am also missing the email you sent me letting me know what the total cost was of the graduation outfit and other misc expenses you and Liz incurred. Can you please resend that one as well. Seems I should stop deleting so many of your emails.
I did not send you an email requesting assistance with the graduation outfit because Liz and her family are fed up with your nonsense and don't want to have to deal with it. I never claimed that I sent you such an email.
Here's the thing: you knew Gabriel was graduating on that day; you knew it was something of an accomplishment for him; yet it never once entered your mind to inquire if maybe he might want or need a nice outfit for the occasion. Rather, it promptly entered your mind to threaten to have an ex parte hearing on the day of his graduation because you had a false belief that I was trying to screw you. You didn't care how that would have affected Gabriel. As long as it would have upset me, that's all you cared about. That's just shameful. You do so many things, probably without thinking, that make your intentions and priorities so clear to outsiders. Can't you see how transparent you are to me? All these things you do have already been done by my parents when I was growing up. I've seen it all before. I am truly sad for you, that you are so unable rise above that way of thinking.
Anyway, here's the contrast: when Gabriel told me about the XBox issue there I got on it to try to get it fixed for him. Even though he's out there (not here). Because I want him to have fun and be happy - regardless of where he is. See, my thoughts and concerns are with Gabriel, not myself. I don't get him things and only let him use them only when he's here. That's selfish and trashy. A lot of parents think that if they do that it will make the child want to live with the parent because in order to have those things the child must be at that residence. But that doesn't work. It never has. My parents did that when I was a kid and it didn't work then, either. I've talked to Gabriel about how some parents do that kind of stuff and that it's important that he not let that affect his decisions. You can't buy a child's affection or respect with kittens and trampolines and pools and XBox consoles. All that does is teaches the child how to exploit and manipulate the parent that's trying to do that. But hey, you go ahead and keep spending your money on such things. Then, when we go to court in September you can explain to the judge why you considered those things more important than shoes and bills. As for me, I'll keep treating Gabriel with respect and dignity; and teaching him values and right and wrong; and making sure he's provided for at all times (not just when he's physically with me). I'll just do my best to make sure he grows up mature and responsible and well adjusted. And you keep buying kittens and getting high. (that's sarcasm, I'm not seriously agreeing to such terms). Over the years we'll see who he grows to respect more.
Good day to you.
You have no problem using it against me by saying I don't contribute although you never tell me how much. However you want to take it is not my concern. That's your perspective and you are entitled to it.
And that medical bill you keep saying I'm so irresponsible about...does that mean you have already paid your half and my delinquency is causing an issue for you? I would hate to think you're using that as an example if you have paid nothing toward it as well.
I have not stated that your delinquency is causing me an issue yet. But, yes, I have covered my obligation. As soon as I have the means I will cover the rest and your obligation will be to reimburse me. I pay my bills and financial obligations before spending money on luxury and leisure items. That is just what responsible people do. Perhaps you just lacked a responsible role model and don't know any better. Maybe it's not really your fault.
It's amazing that you have so much time to research emails givien your new employment.
Yes. I'm a professional. As long as the work gets done on time and according to standards then I come and go as I please. As long as I have a VPN connection to the office then I can work from anywhere. Do you think that I would have the kind of job that requires me to be on-site for some strange reason? What's next, a name tag and a paper hat? I would think that you should be subject to the same level of professional treatment. You are a professional, aren't you?
Oh, I'm sorry your job doesn't depend on anyone else. See, I have meeting after meeting to decide critical moves within the enterprise and how they need to be completed. A little busy for back and forth nonsense.
That's kind of correct. My job does not depend on anyone else. Rather, other people depend on me. Here in California we have these things called conferencing systems. Perhaps you've heard of them? I'm sure they must exist in Arizona as well. You know, there's a microphone and a camera and all the parties to the meeting can call in so they don't have to try to coordinate with everyone's schedule. You should propose that to your supervisor. I understand it can really increase productivity. But, the fact that you have "meeting after meeting" is a bad sign. People should spend their time being productive, not attending pointless meetings. If you're attending that many meetings there's probably some overkill. Maybe the person holding the meeting just likes having everyone listen to him. And, as for these critical moves...when Gabriel returned here in November you had synced his iPod with your computer so all of your endless production meetings were in it.
And finally, the HR department at Apollo Group claims to have no knowledge of the title "Production Support Owner" - they suggest that, perhaps I mean either "Production Support Developer" or "QA Tester - Production Support" or "Production Support/Technical Analyst" or "Production Support Engineer". But none of those job descriptions really seemed in line with what you had previously described. These all dealt with end user support or support of production systems - no actual decision making or responsibility. So, I tried Googling and Wikipedia-ing the title. No such luck. One site did make reference to the term (http://www.information-management-architect.com/project-management-framework.html) but that's really more of a role with their project management framework - not an actual job title (you know, like saying someone is an "end user" - that's not their job but it IS their role in the context of a given system). Anyway, as always, I will give you the benefit of the doubt (even though I can't find a definition of the title anywhere and your company claims it doesn't exist).
Note: when I spoke to HR I didn't mention you at all - I just said I was interested in obtaining the job description for the position of a Production Support Owner.
Please see the last email I sent you. The same explanation applies here.
I never said that I sent you an email telling you how much the shoes cost. I sent you 3 emails telling you that Gabriel needed shoes because his were falling apart (see messages dated 4/22/12 and 4/23/12, Subject "Gabriel's shoes") and asking you to assist. In the last message I sent you on that matter I told you I wasn't going to argue with you about it. I also sent you a picture of the shoe. You did not respond. A week later Liz bought him new shoes. It is not my duty to hound you about money. I submit a request...if you don't respond I submit one follow up. After that I leave it to the court to decide how responsible they think you're being.
Fox, I hardly think you believe in the ability to read minds. How can I pay for half of something if you don't tell me how much it is?
You have already stated, in absolutely no uncertain terms, that you will not give me any money whatsoever (see your email dated 3/29/12, entitled "Legal notice", wherein you stated "I will not send you any money at all"). Having made that statement, and honored it by not providing any assistance, I believe we are past the point of me having to explicitly ask you for assistance. When I do it is only so that there is a clear and indisputable record for the court to review. At one point you stated that you had never refused to provide anything I asked for (with respect to Gabriel) so since that time I have been careful to submit explicit requests to you in writing. So far you have not accepted a single such request. Therefore, I am confident that the court will decide that a reasonable person would conclude that you will not make any contribution unless either a) Gabriel is in your physical care; or b) the court orders you to.
Well now you didn't buy the shoes did you? Liz did
I never said I bought the shoes. I was quite clear that Liz bought the shoes. I am not asking for a reimbursement because I did not pay for them. But a dignified person, knowing that another woman is supporting her child, would at least offer to pay that person back. Liz has too much dignity and self respect to ask you for the money - even though she only makes about $1500 a month. But you see, even Liz puts Gabriel's needs ahead of her own. I didn't ask her to buy the shoes. In fact, I insisted that it's your responsibility and that she should NOT buy him shoes. But she did it anyway. You know why? Because she cares for Gabriel and she will not let him to go without if there's something she can do about it. You're just a sad, sad person.
I have to get back to work then prepare for Shabbat. Why don't you go try to find a point to your argument. I'm sure I'll be here after Shabbat if you really want to continue this discussion.
It's hard to do when neither you nor her tell me how much things are.
I have to go now - I have to work. Get him whatever school supplies you want and Gabriel will be set for 2 years or have a lot of extras. Bye.
Ah, yes, just as I suspected. You have the misguided belief that if it is financially difficult for me to care for Gabriel then I will give up and send him to you to live. And let me guess, you still have the belief that you will be able to use my financial situation to your benefit in court? The financial situations of the parents is not a factor in determining custody or visitation. If the custodial parent lacks the means to adequately provide for the child then the court will order the other parent to provide more child support. But it will not influence where the court will order the child to reside. I suspected, all along, that you were doing this, in part, because you thought that by making things difficult for me that I would be more inclined to relinquish custody. I'm terribly sorry, but the only way that would happen is if Gabriel, himself, told me he wanted to live with you. I've already discussed it with him and I told him that I would support whatever decision he made. He insists that he does not want to live in Phoenix, or away from me. So, there is absolutely nothing short of my death (or a court order) that would cause me to turn my back on Gabriel.
I thank you, though, for putting this in writing. It makes your intentions and your way of thinking clear for the court to see. Up till now I had no proof of your motives but now you've provided me that. Thank you.
P.S. I am not giving you a hard time here. We're just talking. There is no animosity on my part. I really don't need to get angry with you because you are doing a fine enough job of hanging yourself. Just keep doing what you've been doing and everything will work out just fine.
Desiree:
You stated that if it's such a problem for me to take care of Gabriel that I could send him to you and you would take care of everything and that I would never have to pay another cent. Yet, now you're claiming that you're broke and living paycheck to paycheck. If you're that broke then how would you propose supporting Gabriel on your own? Just curious.
Gabriel has all supplies listed above except a thesaurus. If you feel the need to get him supplies as well, that is up to you. I will keep looking for the last item.
Thanks but I already completed the purchase of all of the items on the list. I will forward you a copy of the receipts. The total came to about $90. Please also forward me a copy of the receipts for the items you purchased and whether you will be forwarding them with him when he returns or keeping them there.
Thank you.
I will not send you a receipt but I will send all of his school things with him.
Desiree:
I am requesting a copy of the receipts because I do not believe that you have actually purchased any of the items you claim to have. I did note that you did not actually state that you purchased Gabriel any of the supplies. You stated only that he "has" the supplies on the list. From that I deduce that you are using supplies left over from last year (which is fine, I suppose). Nevertheless, I will forward you a copy of the receipts for the items I have purchased and I request you reimburse me for half of the cost (which is quite generous on my part because your income is higher than mine).
I believe that you are thinking that if you provide him all the things on the list, even though you know I already purchased them for him, then you will not be required to reimburse me for half the cost of the items I had to obtain for him for school. And you are doing this because of your burning desire to NOT send me ANY money (regardless of how that may affect Gabriel). Do you believe that you're the first single mother in your particular social group to come up with these ideas and schemes?
I'm also still waiting for you to provide any reasonable basis for refusing to provide me money (for reimbursements of expenses) and for saying that I can't be trusted. Have you read up on psychological projection yet?
Fox
You are really something aren't you? When will you learn that you don't know a damn thing about me and all you stupid assumptions make you look ignorant and whiny?
I purchased Gabriel a brand new Tilly backpack the HE selected for a cost of $56.28. We went to Walmart on Thursday (the 5th) and bought all new school supplies. At that time Gabriel said that you intended to get his 'portfolio' online and he was going to select which one. He gave no indication that you had already gotten anything, so I proceeded to get allow his supplies. Having 2 children, I bought BOTH of their school supplies at the same time, along with a new shirt for both and a new book for both. The total for those purchases was $175.18. If you would like, I will have him take everything out of his new backpack and take pictures of all of it for you, but the reciepts I have include the costs for 2 children, not just Gabriel. How about you give me half of what I spent and I give you half of what you spent, I would come out ahead.
Desiree:
Is it really necessary for me to have to articulate in detail the basis for my lack of confidence in you and my belief that you lie incessantly and can't be trusted? I've already listed, on numerous occasions, some of the recent lies that you've stated in response to my inquiries and do not see the need to list them here again. Therefore, your claim that I don't know a damn thing about you is misguided and my assumptions about you are based on your own recent actions and statements.
All of your claims in your email about what you purchased Gabriel for school, when you purchased them, and how much you spent on this mean nothing due to your refusal to provide actual proof. Because you have lied about so many things nothing you say can be considered credible without proof. If there is any truth to what you are saying then I can think of no reason why you would refuse to provide a copy of the receipts. Can you think of one?
Regarding your statement that if we swapped receipts and reimbursed each other for our respective expenses you would come out ahead: I believe you are incorrect. Based on your numbers you spent roughly the same amount that I did. Therefore, if we reimbursed each other for half of the cost we'd both pay each other the same amount. But, in reality, because your income is higher than mine and Gabriel is physically here more than half the year, you would be (will be?) required to contribute more than half of the cost. Regardless, your statement suggests that you purchased Gabriel's school supplies only to avoid having to reimburse me for half of the cost (which is a very common game that divorced parents do to try to avoid paying child support to the other parent - you just can't stop shooting your feet, can you?).
Furthermore, you claim that you took Gabriel to WalMart on Thursday and that he told you I was going to get his portfolio. The problem with that claim is that I spoke to Gabriel about the portfolio on Friday. Prior to that the topic had never come up. Also, prior to that I had only discussed getting his backpack. So why would he tell you about the portfolio (which he knew nothing about) but not the backpack? And so, I looked into this Tilly backpack for $56 claim you made. I admit, I was not familiar with Tilly. So I checked WalMart's site. No Tilly backpacks. Curious. So I googled Tilly. No backpacks. Only a store called Tilly's that sells backpacks. So I googled 'tilly' and 'backpack'. Still no brand of backpack called Tilly. How odd. Because, you see, you claim in your email that you purchased Gabriel a brand new Tilly backpack and that you purchased all new school supplies at WalMart. You really are an incredibly terrible liar. Again, I ask, do you really believe the things you say?
Yeah, your right...they don't sell Tilly at Walmart, - I didn't get the backpack there.
I do not owe you a thing. I know you are an old, bitter, used-up little man that no one ever really cared for, but don't put your projections on me. If you want to talk about lies or confusing the truth, why don't we start with your name?
I know you have this mommy complex, but I'm not Peggy, so get over it.
Desiree:
I don't get it. Taking those pictures took way more effort than making a photocopy of the receipts and mailing them to me.
As far as you owing me anything - I think you're going to find that you're mistaken. Child support is going to be ordered retroactively, starting from the date I filed. So, technically, you owe me about $713 a month from January through June ($4278). From the point of starting work your requirement will be lower. Of course, that money is for Gabriel but the court is going to order you to pay it to me, not to Gabriel.
Thirty-eight is not "old". And, if I'm old then isn't Kristopher, also? He's only one year younger than me. And you're creeping up there too.
Bitter? I don't think so. But to be sure, I asked a few others and they agree that I'm not bitter. A little anti-social perhaps but not bitter.
I'm not sure what you mean by "used up". Is that a nice way of saying that I have experience? And wouldn't an old, washed up, ex-stripper, pot head be considered more used up?
I don't care about anyone caring for me. That's superfluous is irrelevant. Since I don't believe in emotions why would I care if anyone believes that they "love" me?
Please explain what I am doing that would lead you to believe I am projecting. I am not accusing you of things that I am doing. That is what projecting is.
Regarding lies and my name - what am I lying about? I changed my name to Richard Riess in compliance with California law at the time. It was legal and honest.
What basis do you have for saying I have a mommy complex? You always make these accusations but you never elaborate. You never provide a basis for them. At least when I accuse you of stuff I explain why. That's because I HAVE a basis. You don't. You just make unfounded allegations. The reason I point out that my mother was just like you is to demonstrate the similarities and to show that your behavior is nothing new to me.
Now, would you mind sending me a picture of the part of the WalMart receipt that has the date of purchase? That was conspicuously excluded from the photos. Or better yet, would you mind sending me a photocopy of the entire receipt, together with the receipt from Tilly's? Thanks.
And tell me one more thing because I really can't figure this out: You knew I was going to get all of Gabriel's school supplies because I explicitly stated it. Why then, would you spend the money on stuff he's not going to need (because I would be getting it), rather than, say, on clothes or shoes or other things he'll need? Why do you keep doing that? How are you going to justify that to the court? Are you going to say "Oh yes, your honor, I have been providing for my son. See, I spent over $100 on school supplies he didn't need because his father already provided them. No, I didn't contribute $20 to a pair of shoes when he needed them, and I didn't help out with the medical bill when he was sick, but look, I got him a second backpack so he can carry twice as much stuff. And no, I haven't helped out with food or field trips but I DID take him to a music concert." I really can't wait to see the court's reaction to what you consider a priority.
Okay, I guess I've adequately responded to each of your points.
Now, I've noticed that whenever I ask you to explain yourself or provide a basis for your assertions you always cease communication at that point so I expect I won't hear from you after this.
Good day.
You knew I was going to get the school supplies as I explicitly stated it.
Desiree:
No, I did not "know" you were going to get school supplies. I knew you "said" you were going to get school supplies. But you have "said" you were going to do many things then not actually followed through on it. As I stated in my email at that time, I could not rely on you to do it then find out when Gabriel returned on August 6th that you failed to do it, leaving me to try to get everything at the last minute. I explained all of that in my email (see my email entitled "Gabriel's school supplies" dated 6/29/2012 11:42). I could not have been more clear. Then, in your email dated 6/29/2012 14:26, you stated "Get him whatever school supplies you want and Gabriel [sic] will be set for 2 years or have a lot of extras." So, you acknowledged, in your own email, that that was your intention - to duplicate the efforts and expenses.
Look, Desiree, you have a documented history of being unreliable and refusing to cooperate and failing to do what you say you're going to do (sometimes you've even said you had ALREADY done a specific thing then we later come to find you never did it). If you're not sure what I'm referring to let me know and I'll send you specific instances. Therefore, I cannot assume that just because you SAY you're going to take care of something that you actually will.
See, the difference between you and I is that when I say I'm going to do something I make every effort to actually do it. When you say you're going to do something it means nothing. I'm not being insulting, it's just fact. Again, if you need specific examples let me know. Ask Gabriel the last time I let him down or didn't do what I said I would. Go ahead. Then ask him for one example of something good that you've brought to his life. I've had that discussion with him a few times. So far he has not been able to point to one single way that you've made his life better. Can YOU think of one thing that you've done to make his life better?
From this point forward if you do not provide supporting evidence or specific examples to support your arguments I will have to disregard them because as you can see from going over our emails you have never actually made a single valid, supportable point against me and I don't have the time to keep addressing your fictional claims and allegations. Any allegation made without supporting documentation or references to specific instances will be deemed unfounded.
Good day.
Oh, so because you assumed something about me, you chose not to believe what I said?
I didn't "know" you were going to get his supplies, since all you did is say you were going to. Your belief in yourself does not translate to anyone outside of you.
But all of this is irrelevant as I already assumed you would be difficult and Gabriel would end up with duplicate school supplies. As I stated earlier in this thread, doesn't matter to me.
Again, I address each point individually - for completeness and clarity:
I don't know what you're referring to. When responding to a specific statement please reference that statement so I know what you're talking about. Thank you.
In my emails dated 6/29/12 11:12, 11:42, and 12:28 I unequivocally stated that I was going to purchase the required items. My track record of following through on what I say I'm going to do is impeccable so you would have no reason to doubt me on it. The difference is that YOUR track record of following through on what you say you're going to do, and your record of saying you have already done something when really you haven't is very consistent - in the negative. That is why when you say you're going to do something it is taken with a grain of salt. But when I say I'm going to do something people can rely on me and expect that it will be done. Do you disagree? Please tell me one time I have not kept my word and done exactly as I said I would.
I don't believe that statement makes any literal sense. I don't understand your meaning. But I will say, as above, that nobody has any reason to believe that if I said I would take care of something that it wouldn't be taken care of as stated. So, if what you're saying is that my belief in my level of reliability is unfounded and that others do not consider me so reliable then I would have to say that you're incorrect. You are the only person that claims I am untrustworthy and unreliable - yet you provide no examples of me being so, and you cannot explain your basis for having such belief. Therefore, your claim is frivolous.
This is certainly not irrelevant. You are depleting your already stretched finances on things that are not required when you can be using those resources for things that will actually benefit Gabriel. How is that irrelevant? Rather than acting like a child and going to the store the day after you find out that I purchased Gabriel school supplies and purchasing him duplicate supplies why don't you purchase him things that will augment what I got him or that he can also benefit from? I spoke to Gabriel this morning. He told me that you bought the things on Saturday. The day after I bought the things here. Not on Thursday as you said. See, why do you lie so much? That is why I say I don't believe anything you say.
And how am I being difficult? Why do you keep making such contentions but never stating with any specificity how you come up with them? I'll tell you: because you know they're not true. You sling around all these vague accusations but you can never cite a specific instance. So, you say I'm being difficult...okay, what am I doing that would be considered being difficult? Let's review the facts:
- I told you I could not rely on you (and provided specific reasons for why) and that I would get Gabriel's school supplies.
- You acknowledged that.
- By Friday, July 6 you had not gotten any such supplies and I had purchased the last of them by that point.
- On Saturday, July 7 you took Gabriel to the store and purchased supplies that I had already purchased.
- I asked you for a copy of the receipt because I didn't believe you.
- You adamantly refused to provide the receipts but insisted you spent x amount on his supplies.
- I told you I didn't believe you, in part because you were refusing to provide proof which you had readily available.
- You accuse me of being an old, bitter, used-up little man with a mommy complex.
Sorry, I don't see how I'm the one being difficult. Please elaborate.
See, what you're doing here? THAT is projecting. You know that you're going to be unnecessarily difficult so you accuse me of being so.
Here's what I think: I think that your biggest motivation is to try to get a rise out of me and it burns you up that I'm fairly indifferent to you. And here's why I think that (you see, here I provide the basis for my belief and statement - this is the part you never do which is why your allegations and assertions are frivolous and unfounded and meaningless): if your concern was with Gabriel then you would not go out the day after I get his school supplies and get him duplicates. You would have asked "What kinds of things would he most benefit from? What can I get him that would be most useful to him?" And "What other things does he need or will he need for school?" But you don't do any of that. Instead you get him things he doesn't need then spend your time arguing with me and calling me names and making unsupported allegations. Another reason I believe you're more interested in fighting with me than in helping Gabriel is that you sternly refused to provide a copy of the receipts. Why would you do that? There's no big secret on them? Oh, perhaps the date of purchase? And even if this was really a miscommunication (which I don't believe) then why would you now continue to refuse to cooperate, in Gabriel's interests? You see, you'd rather fight with me and refuse to exchange the things and get him something useful, than to do what would be best for Gabriel. So that is the basis of my belief that you are interested, first and foremost, in my attention (whether good or bad) than you are in doing what's best for Gabriel.
Have you noticed that it seems that almost every single thing that you say to or about me is wrong? How is it possible for a person to be so consistently incorrect? Why don't you think and do a little research before speaking? I'm really starting to think that I should rescind all of my prior statements about you being intelligent. I'm starting to think you're really not.
I suppose this is the point where you realize and accept how incredibly wrong you are (again) and that you're just sticking your foot all the way into your mouth and you go away quietly (that's usually how our discussions end). At least, I hope we've reached that point in this conversation because your really starting to bore me. I have no interest in being your teacher or role model. You're 31. Stop acting like a spoiled child.
Your attempt to belittle me is laughable, as your opinion of me couldn't mean less. I can't read past the first sentence of your ridiculously long winded emails without having an urge to throw up. Clearly we cannot find a common ground upon which to communicate affectively, so perhaps it is time to stop trying. Your opinion of me is formed on projections from your subconscience and I wouldn't waste one second attempting to change your mind, because it wouldn't have one bit of benefit for me to do so. How dillusional can a person such as yourself, truely a miserable joke of a human with no redeemable qualities to speak of, possess the ego you do? You actually believe the lies which have become your life. (rhetorical, no need to respond)That is such a sad existence. Please don't begin another novel of a responce as I won't read it; you need to spend a bit of that time searching for the truth of why you hate yourself so much. Only someone who hates themselves would benefit from trying to make others do likewise.
Desiree:
1. I fail to see the relevance of your statements. Moreover, you are again making claims but failing reference specific statements I have made or specific occurrences to support your claims. For example, it is not enough to say I am attempting to belittle you - you must indicate what I said that leads you to believe I am attempting to belittle you, because I have no recollection of attempting to belittle you.
2. You say my opinion of you is formed on projections from my subconscious, yet I always provide specific references to specific things you've said or done, to support my opinions. Therefore, you are incorrect. My opinion is based on specific things you have said or done.
3. You ask how delusional I can be... Yet, I consistently provide detailed explanations of why I believe what I do. How, then, are you deducing that I am delusional?
4. You say I actually believe the lies which have become my life. Again, please reference which lies you are referring to.
5. You say that is such a sad existence. How so?
6. You suggest that I hate myself. On what are you basing that? I don't believe that I hate myself. What statements have I made or actions have I taken that would lead a reasonable person to think that I hate myself?
7. I am not trying to make you hate yourself. But, from your rhetoric it seems pretty clear to me that YOU have some issues with YOURSELF. For example, much of what you're accusing ME of is obviously reflections of yourself. It has been clearly established that you harbor delusional beliefs (the belief that your child will love and respect you no matter what you do or had poorly you treat him; the belief that you are a good parent while refusing to accept financial responsibility; the belief that I hid Gabriel from you for 9 years; want more references? I have plenty).
What, exactly, is your message in response to? You seem to have just randomly selected one of my old messages and attached your reply to it but you haven't raised any new issue. What is your point?
Are you awake at 6:57am because you wake up very early on Sundays or because you stay up all night on Saturdays?
Please let me know if you have any further questions.
Fox
Allow me to be sensible and logical for a moment: I propose that you return the backpack and the school supplies you claim to have purchased for Gabriel and use that money to get him some new clothes for school. Be aware, the school has restrictions on what the students can wear to school. That would just seem to be so much more sensible, don't you think? Or how about a tablet? That way he can have the thesaurus, dictionary and whatever else all on his tablet?
Just a thought.
And can you please confirm that you did purchase Gabriel's backpack and supplies on Thursday, July 5, 2012 as you had stated in your email.
Fox
According to the California Child Support Calculator web site, given our current respective income and expenses and the time Gabriel spends with each parent, your current monthly child support obligation will be approximately $663 - $690 per month. You can calculate it at http://www.childsup.ca.gov/Resources/CalculateChildSupport.aspx. My income for this year is expected to be about $41,500 and my income for last year was, obviously, $0.
So, again, I disagree with your statement that you don't owe me anything. But allow me to emphasize: your child support payments are for Gabriel's benefit and I WILL keep receipts for every dollar spent because I do believe you will, eventually, try to accuse me of misappropriating those funds.
Good day.