No Subject

I shall address each point in turn, as civilized people do.



On Mon, 2012-04-02 at 13:28 -0700, Kris Lauchner wrote:



I don't need to tell Gabriel you're a dead-beat mother.  He can see it
all himself.




Desiree was the one that implied I am filling Gabriel's head with ideas
that she is a dead-beat mother.  That was my response.  It is a
statement of fact.  I do not need to put anything in Gabriel's head in
that respect because he sees it for himself.  A dead-beat parent is one
who has the means to contribute to the financial well-being of their
child but refuses to do so.  That is exactly what Desiree is doing.  She
would rather spend money on an attorney to avoid paying any kind of
support than to put that money toward Gabriel.  She spends money on
video games and marijuana and a $1200 month 3 bedroom house rather than
Gabriel.  Is that not the definition of a dead-beat parent?






affects me and only me.  You are responsible for paying half of the bill
but if it doesn't get paid it doesn't affect your credit.  So stop
playing your little trailer park games and accept your responsibilities.




Again, these are facts.  It is my name on the bill, not hers.  And her
insistent refusal to contribute to these types of expenses is typical of
trailer park/white trash parents.  I say she is playing games because in
her email dated 3/9/12 she said if I send her a copy of the receipt or
the request for payment she would provide an amount equaling half the
cost.  When I sent her the bill she the changed her story and refused to
send me any money.  Am I wrong in accusing her of playing games - games
which are typical of trailer park parents?  Respectable, dignified
parents don't play these games.  They accept their responsibilities and
look out for the interests of their children.  In her attempts to be
difficult with me she has been making Gabriel suffer.  How is that not
ghetto?





Sent fNow, can you tell me how it is that you have money to keep buying the
latest $60 video games but you can't afford to support your child?  I
know you're so incredibly white trash that you think I would take that
money and use it for myself (because I'm sure that's exactly what you
would do), however, I'm not white trash and I do put Gabriel's needs ...




Is this not true?  Is Desiree not spending money on video games, drugs,
lawyers, and other unnecessary things while Gabriel goes without things
that would help or benefit him?



Just to name a few.. If you contend the use of the term white trash or trailer park
in the context you use them is not disrespectful then your just a liar or an idiot.
I'm now not certain which one myself



Let's take a moment to consider the definition and behavioral traits of
"white trash".  First, I refer you to Wikipedia's page on it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_trash .  Granted, their definition is
a little harsh.  Now, have a look at this insightful article:
http://nortonbooks.typepad.com/everydaysociology/2009/04/what-is-white-trash.html .
Perhaps you will find this page interesting:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message791842/pg1 .

So, some of the common characteristics of white trash are:
1. High divorce rate (Desiree is working on her third marriage now and
she's only 31).
2. Inability to advance financially - regardless of income, due to
always spending more than they have and abusing credit.  (I've seen her
financials, I don't think there's more needed to say here).
3. Irresponsible handling of money and financial priorities (marijuana,
video games and pool leagues are more important than children's
clothing).
4. Frequently moving due to being evicted or not paying rent.
(Desiree's had, what 4 or 5 addresses since moving to Phoenix).
5. Rushing into relationships and living with their partners. (How long
did you and Desiree know each other before you moved in together).
6. Infidelity (Let me guess, you and Desiree started going out before
she broke up with Michael.  It's not the first time and I don't think it
will be the last)
7. Lots of dogs and other pets (but mostly dogs) even though they can't
support themselves and their children.  (How many dogs does she have
now?).
8. Messy homes, lot's of trash and clutter.  (I've seen pictures of the
condo and the house)
9. Unambitious.  (Okay, she went to community college, it's a
start...oh, but wait, the State of Florida paid for it...and now she's
wasting her knowledge of Oracle at a job that pays about $20,000 a year
less than market for her skills...okay, yeah, I think this trait is
met).
10. Marijuana use.  (Trailer park and white trash people really love
their weed.  Check.)
11. Multiple children from different fathers/mothers.  (Yep.  But at
least she had the decency to marry them before the children were born.)
12. Eagerness to have the government pay their way.  (I refer you,
again, to who paid for her associate's degree, and her eagerness to
claim Gabriel on her taxes).
13. Continuously repeating the same bad habits and mistakes rather than
identifying their flaws and improving themselves.  (Consider, Michael, I
and you are all about the same age; she seems to be following in her
mother's path with respect to marriage and child raising, there's a
great role model).
14. Mismatched dishes.  (Tell me, do your dishes match or are they a
hodge podge of individual plates collected over time)
15. Pool leagues.  (Yeah, I'm sorry but white trash people really love
playing pool in bars.  Though, not everybody who likes pool is white
trash)
16. Tattoos.  White trash people love tattoos.  Especially those trite
ones, like at the bottom of their back, or the arm band, or, heaven
forbid, the finger band, done in plain black prison ink.  Nothing says
white trash more than tattoos on the hands, neck, face or other plainly
visible areas. (Doesn't Desiree have one on her finger now?)
17. Irrational, overly emotional behavior.  White trash people love to
overdramatize things and blow them out of proportion.  Sound familiar.
18. No real loyalties to anyone.  White trash people can be your best
friend one day then completely turn on you the next day.  (Desiree will
be the sweetest, nicest person to you as long as she's getting her way
and lots of attention.  Just don't side against her in an argument.)
19. No sense of loyalty or obligation to their children.  White trash
people will turn away from their children like nothing.  (Time will tell
on this one, but I can remind you of two things: 1) she left Gabriel in
Phoenix to go back to Michael, and 2) she turned on Gabriel when he said
he wasn't comfortable going to San Diego)
20. Criminal behavior.  (Possession of marijuana on at least two
occasions, forgery, money laundering, destroying evidence, and whatever
else I haven't found out about yet - I'm still waiting on the results of
my requests from the Phoenix PD, the MCSO, and Pinellas County).
21. Involvement of CPS.  (Desiree has admitted on numerous occasions
that she has attempted to involve CPS.)
22. Refusal to consider the consequences of their actions.  (Consider
some of her decisions over the last year.)
23. Refusal to consider how their actions will affect others. (See 22)
24. Making bad choices that usually result in them getting into a pickle
and needing to be bailed out by others.  (yeah, enough said there, huh)
25. Bad skin, hair and teeth.  Not a strict requirement but typical
amongst white trash.
26. Cheap clothing, and lots of it.  Tell me, when you look in the
closet do you see lots of polyester/rayon blend items from Target,
WalMart, and similar stores; or fewer 100% cotton, linen, silk, quality
brand items (say, Ralph Lauren, Hugo Boss, Calvin Klein)?  I'm willing
to bet there is a lot of polyester in her closet.

Well, I guess that's a sufficient list for now.  I haven't even gotten
into the list of typical behavior and mannerisms (for example, the
screaming, cutting people off when trying to have a civilized debate as
though interrupting and drowning out your opponent is a valid debate
tactic, plopping the kids in front of the TV while they get high in the
bedroom, Budweiser, Nascar, monster trucks, Jethro Tull, Led Zepplin,
Jack Daniels, young children with long hair (I've seen the pictures of
Sage), cut off jean shorts, dirty t-shirts, children playing outside
with no shoes on, babies outside in just their diapers, slapping their
kids in the grocery store, et cetera).  So, tell me, how many of these
characteristics does Desiree have?

And I have even more disdain for white trash people because I grew up
white trash but I realized how pathetic and disgusting it was and so I
rose above it and put it behind me.  If I could do it so could most
other people.  Especially anyone with decent intelligence.  And Desiree
is certainly intelligent.  But, people generally gravitate to what
they're familiar with and what they know.  So, she's happy being white
trash and she stays where she's happy.  Good for her.  If she was not
white trash then she would not consider it disrespectful if I say she
is.  If you call me white trash I would "whatever", because I know I'm
not.  If it upset her, or you, it is only because you know it's true and
you see yourself as inferior because of it.  I'm not saying you're
inferior - I'm talking about self perception.  I don't care if Desiree
says I sucked in bed, or that I'm short, or can't fight, or that I'm not
a man because I can't provide for Gabriel at this exact moment, or if
she says you're a better, more capable man than I am.  For 2 reasons: 1)
her opinion means nothing to me, and 2) I'm secure with who I am.

So, I don't believe that my statements were in any way disrespectful.
If Desiree or you say something about me that is true I would not
consider it disrespectful - it's just the truth. For example, if you say
I have bad hair and stubby thumbs, I am likely to agree.  If you say I'm
short, or have ear hear, well darn, that's true too.  If you say I am
cold, unfeeling, insensitive, or methodical then I would say you're
absolutely correct.  But if you say I have ever been deliberately mean
or disrespectful to Desiree, or that I have ever done anything that
would harm Gabriel, or that I've not been the best parent I was capable
of being, or that I ever did anything to traumatize Desiree or make her
feel bad about yourself (which I didn't believe to be completely true)
then I would have to say that you are either misinformed or blatantly
wrong.

I sincerely believe that Desiree is acting the way she is in order to
try to hurt me or to be difficult to spite me.  I don't believe she has
any real interest in Gabriel. I believe this because of her actions.
She rarely calls Gabriel.  She showed no interest on why I had to take
him to the hospital.  She doesn't ask about how he's doing in school.
She seems to be much more interested in doing things that she thinks
will annoy me or upset me.  But, unfortunately, for her she is not
capable of being anything more than a minor nuisance to me.  In part,
because I have no emotional bond with her.  Whether she lives or dies
makes very little difference to me.  These ridiculously time consuming
correspondences almost invariably result from my attempts to get her to
own up to her responsibilities.  She has the ridiculous belief that if
she sent money for Gabriel I would spend it on myself.  But that is a
white trash thing to do and I shun anything white trash.  Since I have
been out of custody I have not asked Liz for anything for myself.  I
don't believe in being supported by others.  It is pathetic that Desiree
is willing to make Gabriel suffer or go without because of her petty
issues with me (whatever those issues are).  And it's further pathetic
that she insists on trying to portray me as being mean, vindictive or
cruel to her.  I was the one that initiated the contact between her and
Gabriel - she was the one that then took advantage of my trust and
attempted to take Gabriel to Phoenix behind my back.  When she had to
return Gabriel in November I still agreed to the visitation terms that
Gabriel wanted even though I had nothing to gain by it and it would mean
that I would never have the opportunity to take a vacation with Gabriel.
The only reason I am seeking child support is for Gabriel's benefit.  I
don't want Gabriel to have to suffer because I'm having difficulty
securing a project when, meanwhile, he has a mother that is perfectly
able to send him a couple hundred dollars a month for clothes, or for
him to get some things he's like.  But she had made it perfectly clear
that she would not do that.  She tries to make it seem like my typical
lifestyle is that of a mooch.  As if I've always been needy and I'd take
advantage of other people's generosity.  But, I think it's obvious that
what she's doing is projecting her own ethics on me.  And the only
reason I am seeking to change the visitation is because of the drug use.
Had I known about the drug use earlier I would not have agreed to the
current visitation plan.  And, if she were not using drugs I would have
no problem with the schedule (after all, I was the one that first agreed
to it - she only proposed when she realized it was the best she could
get).  And then, after all her talk about how your crimes were a long
time ago and you're not like that anymore - I find out about the arrest
on November 1.  You and I both know that a person rarely gets caught the
first time.  If the police know about two or three instances then,
probably, there were at least 8 or 9 times (or more) that were not
reported.  And all the while I'm listening to her tell the court that
she's worried I can be arrested at any time and that's not a good
environment for Gabriel and that she can provide him a much better,
safer environment.  Meanwhile, both you and her were being arrested -
one of those times Gabriel was in the car with you and the police almost
arrested her again for possession when she arrived to pick up the kids
and had a "box" in her purse (is there any reason she couldn't leave the
"box" at home or in the car?).  Should that not be infuriating to me?

So, I think the problem is not so much with me being disrespectful as it
is with Desiree knowing that she is, in reality, white trash and she is
insecure about that - yet she doesn't strive to rise above it.  If she
didn't exhibit the characteristics commonly associated with white trash
people then I could not effectively claim that she is white trash and my
assertions would be meaningless.  Much like your attempts to insult me
by calling me Canadian.  Those comments don't bother me because I'm not
Canadian and even if I was Canadian I would have worked to rise above
that stigma as well.  Maybe, if the District Court ever decides to
vacate the perjury and false personation convictions (which I highly
doubt they will do) I can be tried for some kind of identity theft but
as long as those convictions stand, that old res judicata bars all other
US courts from trying me for illegally using the identity of a Canadian
named Richard Riess.  And since I started using the name legally, and
exclusively in 1996, then at the time of Gabriel's birth my legal name,
under California law, was Richard Riess.  Sorry, I segued.

Fox