Gabriel's visitations
Desiree: I am writing to give you a heads-up so that you aren't taken by surprise should the topic come up while Gabriel is with you. Before I proceed I wish to state, unequivocally, that I am saying this for your benefit, not to upset you. Gabriel has said to me on numerous occasions that he is uncomfortable being open with you on certain topics because, in his words, you "get all upset and start crying and yelling". I figure if I raise this issue now you'll be prepared for it if he brings it up and you'll handle it in a more dignified and appropriate manner (no disrespect intended - I'm just speaking frankly). Anyway, when I was bringing Gabriel to school this morning he told me he doesn't really want to go to Phoenix tomorrow, but he realizes he has no choice. I told him, if that's the case he needs to tell you that himself. He said, but then you're going to get upset and start crying. He then said he doesn't really want to go to Phoenix for the summer either. Again, I stressed that he needs to talk to YOU about that. I then pointed out to him that it is your intention to try to convince him to move to Phoenix permanently and that you probably believe over the summer vacation he will come to that decision. He didn't believe that was your intention until he considered the hints you had dropped, like saying that if he moved out there you guys would move into a bigger house with a pool. He also said to me that he doesn't think that "you're doing any of this because of him". I didn't ask him to clarify what he meant but I'm pretty sure he he was saying that he thinks you're doing whatever you're doing to spite me rather than to benefit him. I accept that there is a possibility that he may just be saying that because he thinks it's what I want to here, and maybe there is no validity to it. However, I don't believe that is the case. It is possible that he may not bring it up to you at all. It's possible that if you bring it up to him he may say what you want to hear because he's worried you'll cry and freak out (again, his words) and he'll feel uncomfortable. The purpose of this message is to inform you ahead of time so that IF the topic comes up while he is in Phoenix you won't be taken by surprise and you will have had the time to process it so that, maybe, you can speak to him about it calmly, rationally and objectively. I got the impression, this morning, that he wanted me to talk to you about this. Hence, this email. When he gets home from school today I will read this email to him (or let him read it himself) and if he objects to anything I've said, or disagrees with anything I've said I'm sure he will send you an email or call you to state so. Fox
From:
To:
Date:
Thu, Mar 29, 2012, 12:50 PM
Subject:
Re: Gabriel's visitations
Thank you for the heads up. I will discuss this with him in an un-emotional way while he's here.
From:
To:
Date:
Thu, Mar 29, 2012, 8:02 PM
Subject:
Re: Gabriel's visitations
Desiree: I just read that email to Gabriel and instructed him that if he disagrees with anything that he can call or email you and tell you so. He said he doesn't disagree with anything I said. He did, however, say that he would have preferred I not repeat to you the things he told me because he believes that you will put him on the spot and confront him about them while he's there and that would make him uncomfortable. He also asked me to tell you that it isn't that he doesn't want to see or visit you. He just doesn't want to go to Phoenix. He says all his friends are here, and there's more to do here. He says that would also be good because then there would be more stuff for you guys to do (Disney, Santa Monica, Universal, Magic Mountain, Hollywood, etc.). He says he would prefer it if you came and visited him here instead. He also asked me to ask you not to confront him about this while he's there because he's uncomfortable saying things that he thinks are going to make you cry or freak out. Most importantly, consider that if he does disagree with anything I said in the email he can tell you. If he doesn't say anything about it then he clearly does not disagree. In other words, there is no reason to put him on the spot about it. Fox