Fwd: Desiree, your trip is around the corner!

Yes. The court did order that. And your response to that order was to contact attorneys to try to find some way to not have to return him, while trying to get me to hold off until Saturday - in order to give you time to try to find a way out of having to return him. Gabriel has told me about how you were on the phone asking attorneys how you could not have to return him.

The definition of words, in law, is very significant. When a court uses the word "immediately" it has a very clearly defined and accepted meaning. Again, from dictionary.law.com, "immediately" is defined as follows: "adv. 1) at once. 2) in orders of the court or in contracts it means 'as soon as can be done' without excuse." It does not mean 4 days later; or after you've tried to find a way out of the court's order. You were the one that was trying to skirt the order. I was the one trying to enforce my rights under that order.

That is true. I did not care, just as you did not care about Gabriel's schedule, plans, or well being when you whisked him away in August. You did not care about my rights, plans, et cetera when you had Gabriel in Phoenix and your attorney filled your head with promises he could not possibly keep. And, at this point, I still don't care about your schedule, finances, or plans. I cannot think of a single time that you have put ANY effort into accommodating mine or Gabriel's needs or wants. On the other hand, if you wish, I can provide you numerous references to times that I have tried to make things easier for you or gone out of my way to accommodate you. Just ask, and I'll get you the dates and circumstances. Moreover, you were not supposed to have Gabriel in Arizona to begin with. The manner in which you took him was clearly offensive to the court - as the judge made it well known when he ordered you to "immediately return Gabriel to the home that he has been in all his life until August!"

Because what I wanted also happened to be what the law was, and what both I and the court believed were in Gabriel's best interests. I did not "determine" what the court meant. The court was very clear and used terminology that left very little room for interpretation.

The court said that because you asked me for it and I agreed to it. It was not the court's decision. The order required you to return Gabriel on January 7, 2012. That gave you 9 days visitation.

But wait, you missed a step. About December 13 we spoke on the telephone and you asked if you would be able to return him on January 8th rather than the 7th because the flight would be substantially cheaper for you. I agreed, as long as he was returned in the morning. That gave you an extra day (10 days).

I sent you an email on 12/13/11 requesting you provide a written, signed letter stating your intentions which we had agreed to. In that letter you stated you would be driving to Los Angeles and picking Gabriel up, in person, no later than 4pm on December 30. I then planned my schedule based on that. When I woke up on December 30th I had received a notice from Southwest that you had purchased a ticket for Gabriel from LAX to PHX for later that day. So, who changed the plans here? Suddenly, I would have to take, what, 2 - 3 hours out of my already scheduled day to bring Gabriel to the airport and see him off. That would require changing my plans for the day. Did you care about my plans or schedule? I don't think so.

Before I changed his flight I spoke to you on the phone and you said the 31st would not work for you because you had to get ready for some party. So, we agreed to change the flight to January 1.

Then, on the spur of the moment you came up with the idea of driving to LA to pick him up because you said that a lot of YOUR family was going to be in town for a New Years eve party and that you really wanted him to meet your family (Gabriel later told me that it was actually Kristopher's family that was there - not yours). So, again, who changed the plans?

Actually, I changed it to January 1st, after speaking with you and both of us agreeing to January 1. I still have the email confirmation I received from Southwest. I will forward you a copy of it for your records.

My actions did not cause you to do anything. You changed the plans at the last minute (almost literally) without consulting me. I did not agree to the change. The court order states "...any changes to the above schedule shall be as the parents mutually agree at least two weeks in advance." You did not give me two weeks notice and I did not agree to it in advance. You wanted Gabriel there for the party, yet Gabriel stayed in his room for most of the party and you slept through most of it (from what I'm told you woke up just before midnight).

Actually, you offered to change his return to January 7 and said you would use the money from the December 30th ticket to cover the extra cost. I didn't refuse anything.

That's neither my fault nor my concern. You proposed changing that flight, not me. And you don't seem to have too much difficulty paying for non-essential things like cable and video games so I don't understand why you keep bringing up the cost of travel.

I filed an ex parte motion based on your admission of ongoing drug use, in the presence of Gabriel (maybe not in the same room but definitely in the house while he was present); your attempt to withhold your drug use and arrest from me; and your numerous lies about your medical marijuana card when I spoke to you about your arrest. Based on all of those things I concluded that for Gabriel to be in your care, 375 miles away, could be dangerous or harmful to him. I believe I acted as any responsible parent would. I know that you believe I did it to hurt you but that's simply not the case. The fact that this occurred shortly before President's Day was coincidental. I filed the petition at the earliest opportunity.

The way I see it (and I'm sure you'll disagree) is that you lost that visitation because of your drug use and lies, not because of me. Had you not been using drugs, and had you not been arrested for it, and had you not lied to me about your use and your medical marijuana card then I wouldn't have had a basis for the petition.

As an aside, I later found out about Kristopher's arrest and the circumstances of it. So far I haven't brought up the fact that he had Gabriel with him when he went to pass the counterfeit bills at the WalMart because I didn't find out about that until later. But, it goes without saying that that will be addressed at the next hearing in September. By the September hearing Kristopher's prosecution will likely have commenced, and there's a good likelihood that he will have accepted a plea so it will not be a question of whether he's innocent. But at the same time, the plea is likely going to be for a number of years of prison (due to his priors) so he won't be a factor at that point anyway.

Again, had you not been using drugs and keeping them in an unlocked, unsecured place (your bedroom vanity) then the judge would not have canceled your visitation. It also didn't help that you didn't bother to appear, even telephonically, for the hearing.

So, please explain to me how President's Day was somehow my fault.

Actually, my claim was that the Spring Break BEGAN in the last week of March. Which it did. The break began on March 30th, which is the last week of March. You're going based on my response to the judge's inquiry at the hearing before the Spring Break. He asked me when the break BEGAN. I responded that I believed it began the last week of March.

Moreover, it is not my responsibility to inform you of Gabriel's breaks and holidays. You have access to the same Internet that I do. You are just as able to look up his breaks as I am. You cannot blame me for your failure to perform your due diligence.

Again, it is not my responsibility to correct you or inform you when you have made a mistake. Moreover, historically, when I HAVE tried to be helpful you have responded with remarks like "I don't remember asking for your help". So, why should I continue to try to help you?

As you say: it was a mistake - YOUR mistake. Not my mistake. How are you justifying blaming me for YOUR mistake?

Your point is that you have had to change Gabriel's travel plans EVERY time he has gone out there because of me. How is it "because of me" if YOU were the one that made the mistake then realized your mistake and corrected it? Oh, right, I forgot who I'm talking to. [that's sarcasm]