A lot of people have been saying that Fox is going about this the wrong way; he should be trying to get custody back through the courts - that's what they're there for.
Do you really think he didn't exhaust that remedy before resorting to this? Our case has been going on in the family court since September 2011. When I first showed up and whisked our son off to Arizona without telling anyone (in August 2011) then filed for emergency custody there, it took Fox three months to get our son back home. The family court fully acknowledged that what I did was wrong and ordered me to return him to Fox's care "without delay".
I don't believe that our particular Commissioner, Stephen Lowry, has any particular bias toward the mothers in the cases over which he presides. But I do believe, 100%, that he has a clear and unquestionable bias in favor of a parent who is a US citizen, over a parent who has been deported from the US. Even when that deported parent is the parent who has cared for and raised that child all his life; even when the US citizen parent voluntarily left that child and was absent for the child's entire life; even when the deported parent has no history of drug use of criminal behavior (other than that one perjury conviction which was 7 freaking years ago), while the US citizen parent has a long history of drug use and involvement with dangerous men who have long histories of drug use and violent criminal histories.
On March 20, 2013, Fox and I had a hearing scheduled wherein our son was going to address the court and tell the court who he wants to live with. That hearing was originally set for March 13, 2013 but due to a "clerical error" it was changed to March 20, 2013 (Minute Entry). Now, Fox was deported in February 2013, and the court, without informing him, changed the March 20 hearing back to March 13, notified me by telephone, and proceeded with the hearing on March 13 without Fox. At that time, the court awarded full legal and physical custody to me (Minute Entry).
Since Fox had not been informed of the change in the hearing date, he returned to Los Angeles to appear for the March 20, 2013 hearing. Much to his chagrin, upon arriving at the courthouse he found the matter was not on the calendar, though the Commissioner requested it be put on calendar upon learning Fox was present - presumably to get Fox to hang around the court room (Minute Entry ). Shortly after Fox checked in with the court, the Sheriff approached him and asked him to step outside. Sure enough, the same two ICE agents who arrested Fox on January 2, 2013 were waiting outside the courtroom for him. He was handcuffed and brought down to the ICE office. He was questioned, then sent back to another ICE detention facility for 6 weeks, then put on a plane to Vancouver.
After getting settled into Vancouver and starting a job, Fox began putting all his money toward paying an attorney. He wanted our son to be able to tell the court, in his own words, who he wanted to live. A hearing was scheduled for March 2014. At that hearing, our son told the court he wanted to return to Fox's care. He said he didn't like that I relocated so frequently, and my daily drug use. He said he hadn't bonded with me and would not be upset about leaving my home. He said he didn't feel comfortable in my home.
And even though the court acknowledged our son's intelligence and precociousness, it decided our son did not have the maturity to make that decision on his own. The hearing was postponed for another 3 months with no changes.
Fox realized at that moment that there was absolutely nothing he could do in the family court that would ever convince them that his son should be with him. It just didn't matter that I had a well known history of drug abuse; of living with dangerous drug addicted men; of never staying in one place more than 2 years; of always putting my boyfriends before my children; of uprooting my children and ripping them from the only home and family they'd ever known. No, none of that mattered! All that mattered is that I am a US citizen and Fox was deported.
We now have another hearing in the family court, on March 28, 2016. Again, our son is going to tell the court what he wants. Over the past 3 years, since he's been with me, he has always insisted he wants to return to Fox's care. He has never once indicated an interest in remaining with me. One time he had told Fox he wanted to stay in Arizona (in November 2013) and Fox told him if that's what he wants then he'll honor that. Our son called Fox back a couple days later and said he made a mistake. He said the only reason he thought he wanted to stay in Arizona was because his friends were there, and that after thinking about it that wasn't a good enough reason to stay with me.
I don't believe the court is going to change anything on March 28. Our son will tell them he wants to go back to Fox, and the court will just postpone the hearing again. The only way our son will ever be able to choose, for himself, who he will live with is when I am so completely broken, so destroyed that there are no more men to bail her me of my own mess. (Or, of course, after he turns 18 - but then, there's not a lot of parenting left at that point, is there?)
You might say this website destroys any chance of the family court ever ordering our son returned to Fox's care. But realistically, any chance of that was destroyed the moment the Judge decided Fox was just another illegal alien.
Family court systems that support the rights of a drug addicted, useless custodial parent and continue to perpetuate this living arrangement for a child/children are the very institutions that need to be outed and examined by the community at large. However, no one wants to tackle this or challenge the established authority. I do not have children, but I certainly can feel outrage and empathy for a parent that finds himself in this predicament====no where to turn to, hundreds of miles separating them from THEIR CHILD: a child who wants to be with them full time, has articulated this numerous times, YET is told by the courts===you are too young to understand what you want.
Years ago, a friend of mine was ordered by the family court to turn over her 2 boys (they were little 5 and 3 at the time) for visitation. This sperm donor, had a long history of drug abuse, trafficking,property theft, theft of 10,000 dollars, he collected when he acted as a part time landlord in a highrise apt, etc. In short, plain no good. He wasn’t in the life of his children ever, but then decided to become a thorn in her side when she met a good man and wanted to remarry.
She asked me for help to write a letter to our city newspaper talking about the family court system and her experience with it and the fact that no one would listen to her fear for the safety of her children—-they did not want to go with him, cried uncontrollably when the child worker would take them, numerous times he would disappear for months, only to show up and again create courtroom drama about not seeing his boys , when he did take the children, he would take them to “house” parties where drugs and drinking was happening.
I contacted a second friend who’s husband was a reporter at our local paper and asked if he would help get a letter published in the editorial about the family court system and my friends experience in trying to protect her boys from the lunacy of allowing this person to have access to her children. I went to her house to talk to her about what she wanted me to focus on and drafted a letter and forwarded it to the reporter. I received a phone call the very next day from him saying that the editor was refusing to publish my letter cause he viewed it as an “attack” on the family court system and the judge that presided over the decisions he forced her to abide by. In disbelief, I remember giving permission to remove the name of the judge from the letter but the decision was final=====no letter highlighting the atrocities and suffering that decisions by judges that affect the lives of her boys, even if they come away with emotional scars was going to be brought to light.to anyone—-censorship at its finest.
I can fully understand why you would want to shout to the world about the unfairness, and sheer stupidity of laws that supposedly are there to protect children from a person who calls herself “mom”, but in reality was really just an incubator. My heart goes out to you and your son, may someone with logic and who truly wants whats best for your boy stand beside you in court and take your side for goddamn once!!!!!.
My friends boys are grown now, and are good people, the oldest is a fireman, and the youngest went into the Canadian armed forces, so thankfully none of the crap they had to witness and endure affected them.
May you and your son continue to love each other, stand beside each other even while separated and count the days where no court system will stand between him freely coming to you.